he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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