ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
