i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
