Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
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Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.