Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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