ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
