somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...