Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where