If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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