Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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