At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
