yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
