She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize