I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
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Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
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I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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