i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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