My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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