never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
