I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I think I just sharted jello shots
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize