No more Irish car bombs ever.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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