Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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