My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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