if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
