remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
