We're facebook friends in real life
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
