She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's blow job season.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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