I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize