So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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