You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Help me help you realize you are a moron
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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