Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
