What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
