Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
