my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
