one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
