She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
