We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I FOUND THE LEGS
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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