Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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