That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
