Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
