Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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