It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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