it's too hot outside to masturbate.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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