If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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