Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
