That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
