so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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