I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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