wanna go halves on a baby?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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