..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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