I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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