His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility