He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.