A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.