Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.

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  (440): We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night. http://tfl.nu/4khi
  Replies (34) Good night (4683) Bad night (847)
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  (742): View more from

  What happened last night?

  (1-742): View more from

  You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.

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  (742): What happened last night? (1-742): You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth. http://tfl.nu/koqa
  Replies (5) Good night (953) Bad night (4966)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

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  (252): U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry http://tfl.nu/sko0
  Replies (41) Good night (4022) Bad night (1624)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.

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  (205): I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs. http://tfl.nu/sygp
  Replies (34) Good night (5778) Bad night (966)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.

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  (585): you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation. http://tfl.nu/l508
  Replies (6) Good night (1871) Bad night (3602)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.

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  (250): my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing. http://tfl.nu/ewuf
  Replies (10) Good night (3501) Bad night (969)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.

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  (610): Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight. http://tfl.nu/6ipq
  Replies (2) Good night (3804) Bad night (2032)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing

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  (940): This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing http://tfl.nu/18y7
  Replies (9) Good night (2506) Bad night (1098)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories

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  (217): I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories http://tfl.nu/vqmd
  Replies (6) Good night (1874) Bad night (757)
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  (408): View more from California

  He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!

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  (408): He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!! http://tfl.nu/u5h8
  Replies (14) Good night (2399) Bad night (678)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.

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  (212): Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower. http://tfl.nu/5646
  Replies (6) Good night (840) Bad night (1176)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.

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  (803): Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now. http://tfl.nu/z1h4
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (583)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.

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  (319): How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you? (720): I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be. http://tfl.nu/ix10
  Replies (6) Good night (1155) Bad night (284)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?

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  (717): 11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong? http://tfl.nu/cupo
  Replies (4) Good night (374) Bad night (251)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like

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  (705): its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like http://tfl.nu/rqvs
  Replies (1) Good night (356) Bad night (129)

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