Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth