Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.

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  (917) And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater. http://tfl.nu/gzmt
  Replies (2) Good night (992) Bad night (522)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  watch out for the queen of hearts

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  fuucck i forgot ab her

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  (610): walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat (215): watch out for the queen of hearts (610): fuucck i forgot ab her http://tfl.nu/mo46
  Replies (15) Good night (5438) Bad night (676)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?

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  (941): If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him? http://tfl.nu/9nhp
  Replies (139) Good night (1018) Bad night (12616)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

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  (832): I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes. http://tfl.nu/wfe6
  Replies (34) Good night (701) Bad night (4289)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.

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  (863): oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/dnld
  Replies (14) Good night (1241) Bad night (2931)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...

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  (401): Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him... http://tfl.nu/2jr7
  Replies (10) Good night (2113) Bad night (625)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.

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  (806): It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation. (1-806): It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that. http://tfl.nu/9jn5
  Replies (13) Good night (1897) Bad night (744)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.

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  (616): Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing. http://tfl.nu/tiqf
  Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (415)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.

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  (770): Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season. http://tfl.nu/r1ss
  Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (852)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.

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  (713): I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/unpl
  Replies (4) Good night (762) Bad night (260)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao

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  (214): Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao http://tfl.nu/k098
  Replies (5) Good night (922) Bad night (259)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  okay we need to get tested.

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.

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  (732): okay we need to get tested. (1-732): no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride. http://tfl.nu/uj9n
  Replies (2) Good night (203) Bad night (369)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.

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  (203): Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down. http://tfl.nu/cgfa
  Replies (9) Good night (1453) Bad night (221)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?

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  (763): I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I? http://tfl.nu/xms3
  Replies (6) Good night (718) Bad night (402)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.

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  (520): She's on her period. You don't know what fear is. http://tfl.nu/pvji
  Replies (5) Good night (211) Bad night (549)

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