Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
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There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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