Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize
