Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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