I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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