At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
