so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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