My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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