just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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