The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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