So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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