Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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