Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Boobs speak an international language.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
