dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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