alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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