he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
