A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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