i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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